Just breathe.

Life has been throwing up some MAJOR brick walls for me since the beginning of the new year.

Hey everyone! It has been a long time since I've posted, maybe since the end of December? Wow!! I have been staying with my mother, as for the engine in my car blew up and I've been using hers to get to work and class until I can get it fixed and I can only get online mobile but it won't let me type of a post! Weird! But, I am alive and making it :)

So very much has happened that I really can't even to begin to explain. There have been so many tests that God has given me since 2008, and I really don't know if I've passed or failed them.

I haven't been involved with anyone in a while. I am taking time out for me and my life ahead. I have time to think about a man when I finish getting where I'm going.

Yesterday, however, I was driving to the bank, and OUT OF NOWHERE, I turn to my left and there is my ex love. He waves at me and keeps driving. The thing here I don't understand is, is that I've been doing so well not thinking of him, and then he just shows up. Well, a few minutes later, he calls me. I answer and he asks where I'm going, and to see if I wanted to meet him at KD's which is a local diner for coffee. I said yeah sure. I had my dog with me, the one he bought me for Christmas and that we adorned with love for about a year. He hadn't seen her since the end of September so he did want to see her. I said yes and that I would be there in a few minutes. I drove up and he came out to the car and loved on Isabella for a few minutes, then we went inside. I ordered coffee and we watched the inauguration of Barack Obama on the television as we sat in the warmth of my favorite diner. We talked and laughed. He flirted, and I just smiled... I now know...

I don't want him back. 

I am happier without him. I really am. I am glad that I had the chance to see what I was missing, because trust me you guys, it isn't, much. He really let himself go. No job, he's not enrolling in college, he's gotten fatter and isn't keeping his appearance up, it's just crazy how much he's changed. It was in fact nice seeing him though, well we ended up hugging and we parted ways.

Today was my first day back at work. I took off a week or so because I was so frustrated with my boss. I am shift manager at Subway, if you didn't know. Well let's just say I don't get paid very much, and I'm trying to pay for college and a new car, so I am very frustrated. I pretty much quit. She begged me back. Now, I am angry because I STILL didn't get a raise. I mean, I am really considering quitting and getting a higher paying job. It's bull!

All in all, I'm still alive. My anemia has slowly crept back, so I am feeling sickly from that, but I shall be fine.

I will post again soon, when I can.

Cheers!



Comments

Shadow said…
sometimes it's necessary to see and talk to someone again to realise they are not who you want, need or love. i hope your life gets easier real soon.
January 22, 2009 at 3:23 AM
Sage Ravenwood said…
Paul and I broke up so many times within the first year we were together. My mind couldn't let go of my abusive ex. It created so much turmoil. The last time I broke up with Paul I went back to the ex...I realized my mistake right away. Thankfully Paul and I worked things out. Paul truly loved me, he gave me something my ex never could. The security of that love.

I'm so proud of you, for recognizing your ex for who he was. In time you will find someone who see you for you. And that's more than enough for him. (Hugs)Indigo
January 22, 2009 at 8:24 AM
Wait. What? said…
I remember seeing my first real love after several months apart - a bad break - and it was wonderfully liberating - he was well, I was well - and we were seperate and the world held togehter regardless!
January 22, 2009 at 8:32 AM
Melissa said…
glad ur still alive and kicking :)
January 22, 2009 at 4:08 PM
Heather said…
'Ello. ;)

I am hoping things are going well for you.
January 29, 2009 at 4:22 PM
Anonymous said…
I am new to your blog but I have to tell you I found you by way of Jiggins over at Continuum. This post is so full of positivity , it was great to read. You are progressing..and that feels good. It's easier to look back when you have moved up a little. Be good to yourself! See you soon.
February 10, 2009 at 4:21 PM
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