Seasons change. People don't.

Today had it's even share of peace and khaos, mentally, in my mind. I had an, overall, okay day, I suppose. I cried, laughed, smiled, frowned; all in one day. I came home with a migraine from all the stress I'm putting on myself. Why? I haven't the slightest clue. I went without eating all day, that made me a tad bit irritable to be around. But, once I ate, all my emotions came running everywhere, all over the taco wrappers on my mother's table. I just cried and sobbed and played pity party over the past (which I cannot change) and it was quite silly looking back, to be frank. I need to get a grip. A firm grip.

I did spend time with a good friend today after class. We just sat and talked for hours. He's going through the same thing I am, missing an ex- lover, but he's in a relationship, and missing someone else. It's

 tough! It really is tough on the soul to deal with heartbreak. I don't recommend falling in love. It's a one way street, a dead end road, a lost cause; for my case at least. 

I was also thinking how I haven't the slightest clue to even if anyone is reading this blog or not. I really just write for record of my own thoughts, but if you are reading, please, feel free to comment me on anything I discuss! I love meeting and talking to new people from all over the world! Follow my blog and send me a comment and I'll gladly do the same! :)

I don't think I am interested in anyone at this current time. I really am trying to think if there is really anyone I would consider dating, and, I could maybe think of one person, but other than that, there are no other options. I'm sort of just, playing the field, so to speak. Enjoying flirting and having a fun time being able to flirt in general and not worry about "cheating." 

It's been exactly forty-three days since my official break-up and I was talking to a few people about it today. When he met this other female and decided to date her, shortly after, I found out they were "in love." I was thinking to myself, How, could he possibly love somebody else so quickly after our closure? Someone replied, because it wasn't just that quick, he's probably had his eye on her prior. That made me sick to my damn stomach. I hate thinking that when we were together, there was the possibility that he was thinking of someone else. Isn't that dreadful to contemplate your significant other doing? *shudders*  Moving on, honestly, if he asked me back, I don't think I would say yes. I think I would have to think long and hard about it. I mean, he broke my heart, my soul, my mind. It would never be the same. He wouldn't deserve a second in my presence, to be honest. But then again, love makes you do crazy things, aye.

Overall, I do think I'm in a deep depression. The thing is, I can't realize it because I'm trying so hard not to be and everyone else sees it, and I don't. I feel happy! But, my mother says, I'm just in denial. I think she is correct. I may inquire some counseling sessions to vent. I enjoy talking to psychologists. I used to fancy being one, really. AH, well, life throws so many snowballs at me....why not make a snowman? :) A cute one at that! And a snow lady to comfort him, yeah?And snow babies? Nah, not yet, too soon for "baby making."

I noticed today the tree leaves are changing colors so beautifully and falling rapidly. I can't wait for winter! I love coffee and a smoke in the chilly weather at Starbucks. I really like ice and frost. I've never seen snow, but maybe one day when I travel to New York, I will! I love the fashion in Winter. Bundling up is so classy! Brilliant coats and scarves and boots are just so fun to accessorize!

One thing I have learned today is, Seasons change, but people, rarely do.