Star of the show.

Today is the perfect day for a perfect day! The snow on Friday was great! Of course it was wet so it didn't "stick" but as it fell down, it was amazing! I really enjoyed it! It really puts a festive trimming to Christmas this year. Maybe we'll get lucky and have snow on Christmas! In LA, it's super unpredictable when it comes to the weather.

I have NEWS!!! :)

If you have been reading since my beginning, which was November of last year (2008), you will remember (maybe) what guy I am about to be referring to. We were together EXACTLY this time last year. I ended the relationship because I felt I wasn't satisfied and he was working all the time and different things kept coming up. (I never use any person's real name on the web; if you ever wondered.) I never was "in love" with him, but I cared and still care for him strongly. Well, we remained very good friends and we hung out last night. He picked me up around 7 that night and we went to chaperon his "sister's" birthday party. I had a great time!!! I love the kids and they are super fun. She turned 15 today actually!! (Happy Birthday Sweetie!) Growing up so fast... Anyway, we hung out with the kids until around 2 that morning (until all of the guys went home and the girls could do their sleepover thing) and we left and were looking for something to do, so we headed over to KD's Diner to grab a cup of Joe and a deep conversation.

I still have feelings for him, and he knows that. We briefly discussed it, but I was so afraid to tell him about it, in depth. Here's the thing. He still loves his ex. Which is EXACTLY why I broke up with him before! (My loving an ex, not his.) After we broke up, a few months on he dated his ex again. Obviously, it didn't work out, again. I really think they are meant to be friends and nothing more. He feels that, but it is so hard to let go not knowing what's on the other side of the door. He is a very hard person to read. It's difficult to try and figure him out. Some men, I can get a hold on, and some others I cannot. He is part of the cannot category. We talked and he told me he has thought of us getting back together, but he financially isn't ready to take on a girlfriend at the moment. I explained to him how much I have changed since the last go round. I honestly have changed so much. I expected so much of him because I had just been hurt so bad and was comparing him to my ex at the time. It was a very tough road for the both of us. I so often regret ending our relationship. He was the only guy who really was deep down a good person and who hit many of the characteristics of a future partner I have ever found.

I want to try again. Or, should I say, I want him to at least think about it. You know, I really want to know what he thinks about all this! We were together 12 hours yesterday. We stayed up and watched the sunrise and then he left my house around 7 that morning. We had planned on going walking at the lake this afternoon so he had called and came to pick me up. It started raining so we went to eat dinner and ended up seeing a movie! (The movie was Armored, and it was good!) Then he brought me back home and just left not too long ago. It's really hard to tell if he is interested, but he is NOT the kind of guy who wants to hang out if he isn't even remotely interested. What should I do? I really would like some type of input here. I want to be with him very badly, but only if it's in the cards, you know? I do not want to rush anything, but I just want a sign on if it's worth thinking about. Either way, I want to be his friend. I just want to know the possibilities of a relationship again.

We have alot of fun together and always end up doing something crazy! He's fun yet very mature. Just my kind of guy. He's handsome and intelligent. And, he is what I am looking for. I was so blind before and I really hope I didn't ruin it. I believe anything is always possible, but I am just hoping for the best. I want to be happy, and I want him to be happy no matter what.

Hats off to another week, eh? Keep the holiday spirit up guys. Remember to love this season!

P.S. He's been letting me wear his Boston hat for the past two days. I still have it on. Heehee. ( And I'm a Yankees fan!!!)

P.P.S. I just re-read my entry "Solitaire" and had to laugh at myself after reading this post...

-Sharon