There's a side of chronic pain and mental illness you don't see. Another face. It's after you've just had it. After you've absolutely had it emotionally, mentally, and physically. It's when your mascara from the day is running down your face inching further away from your inner eyelids where you spent all morning getting your eyeshadow just right. You winged your eyeliner perfectly and now it's just a black blur. The tears fall off your eyelashes like raindrops fall off leaves after a fresh rain. The glitter from your lids slide down their pathway across your cheeks. The blush has been gone. Your lipstick smudges and doesn't look as beautiful as before these feelings began. Your nose gets stuffy and red from how upset you are feeling and it shows. Your foundation starts melting off where the tears have now left their cleansing residue journey across those blushless cheeks. You just really want to wash your face, curl up in your bed, and cry a little more...
Things are slowly getting better. I told my parents and closest people who knew the situation about the whole ordeal with my ex the other day. I am feeling much better to be quite honest. Everyone that I spoke to about it, said it didn't have to be taken as a bad thing. This was closure for me. This is the end of the rope. I know what I don't want and what I do want. After being hurt and used and manipulated, at least now I know what I am made of. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right? Today was pleasant!! IT SNOWED! IT TOTALLY SNOWED ! Yeah, sorry, I've never seen snow before!!!!!! It was so amazing!!! Snow in Louisiana is so uncommon. I woke up this morning, and there was snow EVERYWHERE. I ran outside and was like "holy crap this is great!" I yelled at my mom and she ran outside and I threw a snowball at her. I mean, it is what I suppose one would call, "Wet Snow" because it happened in such a southern place. It melted not long aft...
Funny how sometimes you are just tempted to look at that old photo. The one where you and him are standing so happily, smiling, hair glistening in the sunshine of the setting sun at the boardwalk, waiting on forever to come. Then, you come across a picture of him and the one he left you for. Funny how you even came across it in the first place, right. You can't help but stare into his eyes and try to sense what he is feeling right there through that glossy picture. Is he really happier with her? Does he ever miss what he had before? Then, shifting a few centimeters over to her eyes, thinking, do you really know what you have? Why did you take him away from me? Why couldn't you just let him have time and not be such a tramp to hook the first one your little figure could catch? Do you realize the pain you have caused me? Funny how he holds her. How he looks at her. How he even stands and sits. It's all so familiar to me now. I've been there done that. I've seen that, ...
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B
Thanks, and same to you! Always reading, but sometimes I don't comment on every one!
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Sharon