Nothing more, nothing less.

This year, the holiday's haven't been very holiday-like. Christmas this year came so fast. It is in about two days, and I can't believe it. I finally wrapped Christmas gifts last night. Finished the majority of my shopping, and am off until Friday from work.

Normally, the holiday's are incredibly joyful for me, but this year, it hasn't been so cheery. I have so much to be grateful for, but life has been a bitch these last few months. It's putting a damper on my holiday. The music is just another melody. The decorations are just blurs of light. The gifts are just symbols of sympathy. It's just going to be another day.

However, my favorite part about the holiday season is the giving part. I love shopping for people. I live for it this time of year. I hit a bunch of sales the other day, and got my list done. Finally. And afterward, I fell onto the bed and slept for 5 hours. I was exhausted from standing in line all day.

Tomorrow, for Christmas Eve, my dad, step-mom, and I are going to her family's house to eat hen gumbo. Christmas day, I'm going to my grandmother's, (my mom's mother), and we are having dinner and gift opening there. I enjoy seeing my family, but after a while, I just want to go home. It's very tiring, smiling and laughing, when you really don't feel up to it.

I am very depressed this Christmas because of being single. I mean, it's my choice, but last year, I was deeply in love this time, and was enjoying having someone for the holiday's. Not complaining, but it's hard adjusting without him for Christmas. I did recieve my baby girl, Isabella, this time TOMORROW, last year. He bought her for me as a gift. She is my pride and joy. She's a full bred Shih tzu who just turned one year on November 12. I got her on Christmas eve 2007. That is something to be grateful for.

You know, I drive past his street everyday on my way to and from work. His house is right off the main road. Sometimes, I try not to look to see if he's home. On my way to work, I didn't. On my way from work, I did. It seems the happier I am, the more I don't want to look. The more upset, the more I want to look. I wonder why that is...

I am doing better with the whole, getting over him thing, but I am still very sad and still depressed. Here's something interesting though. An old ex-boyfriend of mine called me the other day. We had been talking a few weeks again and planning to hang out. Well, yesterday morning/afternoon, we did. Things were going well, until he just pissed me off royally. We went to pick up my best friend's brother, and on the way, one of his best friend's lived right down the road. He got out and went inside to talk for a minute then came back out and was like, "Um, I'm going to stay here, my brother is here and my friends..." I was so pissed. Now, ok, yeah it's his brother. Yeah, his friends. But here's the thing... he says he "So into me, and wants to be with me... blah blah blah" and then ditches me? It's stupid! I don't know what to do. I left, and haven't heard from him since. I tried calling once today, no answer.

So, I don't know, just living life. Trying to make it though this crazy world.

BUT,

Have a Happy Christmas.