Fly away into the sky.


Life is so crazy right now. I have so many stories to fill you in on, hope you are ready for a ride on my roller coaster. I've been staying with my mother for the past week or so because my father's wife and I got into in a few weeks ago and I couldn't take it anymore. Well, I am staying back with father for the night and we all talked and settled all the problems we were having, so I'm considering moving back home.

The thing is, I really love my mother and it makes me sad to leave her. Divorce is so hard on a kid. I was nine years old when my parents split and it's killed me practically every day of my life since that warm summer day that I remember as if it were in fact, yesterday.

My romance life has been slowly picking up. I have been getting to know a really great guy and we finally started dating about two weeks ago. I'm really trying to take things slow. Now, I know I said I wasn't ready and all that, but it really just HIT me in the face! I wasn't even looking for anyone, you guys know that and I just couldn't pass this guy up. There is something that seems so different about him, and I just can't put my finger on it. Who knows what will happen but I have honestly had a blast with him every night this past week. Something new and fun every single night that keeps my spirits up.

My ex and I, yeah the one who broke me into a million pieces, broke up with his girlfriend and we talked last night about everything going on in each other's lives and I finally have closure. Closure is so wonderful. I feel so refined and fresh. We are finally civil and I don't hate his guts anymore. His ex is going psycho because he broke up with her and I really feel bad for her. We spoke about how he rushed into the relationship and I got him to admit that he used her as a rebound to get over me. They were together two months and he said he had really strong feelings for her, but they faded, and it wasn't fair to lie to her about what wasn't there anymore. But the point is, I am very happy with the progress I have made being without him these past two almost three months.

Something really hit me hard in the brain today. People have been telling me they miss the old, Sharon. I began to think, of what this meant. The old Sharon...who is this person and where did she venture off to? I can finally say, she is back, and is feeling better than ever. I finally have my priorities back in line and happiness surrounds me daily now, despite my situation.

I've gotten back in touch with a few old friends I lost contact with, made some new ones, and am ready to explore the world and everything it has to offer me. I am going to be starting a new job later this week I'm hoping, and class starts back on Monday. I'm ready to have a great holiday season and enjoy my life for what it is. No candy coating anything anymore.



Like a bird, I spread my wings and fly, 
until either the sun gets too hot, or the
wind brings me down onto a surface in 
which I cannot withstand, nor comprehend.




Comments

Anonymous said…
I have so been where you are right now. I am enamored with birds right now for some reason so I love the pic you posted also. I enjoy your candor and look forward to more.(hugs)
November 26, 2008 at 6:39 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

But there's another face.

There's a side of chronic pain and mental illness you don't see. Another face. It's after you've just had it. After you've absolutely had it emotionally, mentally, and physically. It's when your mascara from the day is running down your face inching further away from your inner eyelids where you spent all morning getting your eyeshadow just right. You winged your eyeliner perfectly and now it's just a black blur. The tears fall off your eyelashes like raindrops fall off leaves after a fresh rain. The glitter from your lids slide down their pathway across your cheeks. The blush has been gone. Your lipstick smudges and doesn't look as beautiful as before these feelings began. Your nose gets stuffy and red from how upset you are feeling and it shows. Your foundation starts melting off where the tears have now left their cleansing residue journey across those blushless cheeks. You just really want to wash your face, curl up in your bed, and cry a little more...
Read more

Final Execution.

Image
Things are slowly getting better. I told my parents and closest people who knew the situation about the whole ordeal with my ex the other day. I am feeling much better to be quite honest. Everyone that I spoke to about it, said it didn't have to be taken as a bad thing. This was closure for me. This is the end of the rope. I know what I don't want and what I do want. After being hurt and used and manipulated, at least now I know what I am made of. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right? Today was pleasant!! IT SNOWED! IT TOTALLY SNOWED ! Yeah, sorry, I've never seen snow before!!!!!! It was so amazing!!! Snow in Louisiana is  so uncommon. I woke up this morning, and there was snow EVERYWHERE. I ran outside and was like "holy crap this is great!" I yelled at my mom and she ran outside and I threw a snowball at her. I mean, it is what I suppose one would call, "Wet Snow" because it happened in such a southern place. It melted not long aft...
Read more

Johnny Walker Red.

Image
Funny how sometimes you are just tempted to look at that old photo. The one where you and him are standing so happily, smiling, hair glistening in the sunshine of the setting sun at the boardwalk, waiting on forever to come. Then, you come across a picture of him and the one he left you for. Funny how you even came across it in the first place, right. You can't help but stare into his eyes and try to sense what he is feeling right there through that glossy picture. Is he really happier with her? Does he ever miss what he had before? Then, shifting a few centimeters over to her eyes, thinking, do you really know what you have? Why did you take him away from me? Why couldn't you just let him have time and not be such a tramp to hook the first one your little figure could catch? Do you realize the pain you have caused me? Funny how he holds her. How he looks at her. How he even stands and sits. It's all so familiar to me now. I've been there done that. I've seen that, ...
Read more